Welcome to the world’s most revered homage to nature's most famous double entendre, the Beaver, in all its many majestic and varied forms. Vagenda's Beaver Lodge™ is an essential historical repository that exhaustively documents everything from provocative female anatomical references to the not-so-sexy semi-aquatic rodents themselves. Curators Vagenda and Asphyxia 8 invite you along for an educational, erotic and entirely wacky adventure you'll neither want to nor soon be able to forget.
It may be a shameless clone of uber-popular iPhone app Angry Birds, but Beaver's Revenge is still a fun and essential download for all beaver game enthusiasts. And boy, are these beavers pissed!
"The lumberjacks have invaded the beaver's home again. Now it is time to strike back and get ... Revenge!!! The beavers and their forest friends are out to teach the lumberjacks a lesson. You can fling a fish, launch a skunk, toss a rabbit and more!!"
Fun for the whole semi-aquatic rodent family, and others.
It's been more than 5 years since the groundbreaking NBC sitcom Will & Grace ended its run after an impressive 8 seasons. While the show's main characters certainly held their own, it's co-stars Sean Hayes and Megan Mullally who always stole the show by portraying characters whose callous, shallow and completely self-absorbed antics would be appalling if they weren't as brilliantly crafted and portrayed so hysterically.
I give you, gentle readers, this montage video showcasing the many times Karen Walker invoked her favorite alter-ego, Anastasia Beaverhausen.
"Anastasia, as in Russian royalty;
Beaverhausen, as in...where the beaver lives."
Although slightly less beaver related, here's a bonus video compiling Karen's many hilarious encounters with her pint-sized nemesis, the brilliantly named (and cast) Beverly Leslie (played by Leslie Jordan).
"Karen Walker ... I thought I smelled gin and regret."
Episodes of Will & Grace are still showing on Lifetime (television for women and gay men), with reruns airing frequently throughout the week.Sadly, there's still no word of an Anastasia Beaverhausen spin-off, miniseries, or high-end vodka brand.Stay tuned.
Everyone likes big butts,* and now we may finally know why, thanks to the latest dance craze to hit America in which amply endowed women "twerk it" in what can best be described by a few core lyrics:
I shake this ass side to side I shake it everywhere/ Make it vibrate got this ass going everywhere.
Clearly inspired by Sir Mix-A-Lot's bottom enthusiast anthem in the 90s, "Baby Got Back", this rump-shaking, booty-busting shimmy is an update on the theme, and is masterfully illustrated by recording artist Lady in this salacious video for her aptly titled single, "Twerk" (available on iTunes via link):
Another sampling of Lady's more florid lyrics:
And when I'm in a split I can make this ass jump/
I make this ass jump every time the beat bump/ Now for the grand finale I saved the best for last/
You know it's head down pussy popping hand stand
While I wish the gaga-free Lady nothing but success with her budding career, and thank her deeply for courageously sharing her God-given assets and the many talents they have fostered with the world, I'd like to leave you with some of the many memorable lyrics from "Baby Got Back." Feel free to share your own in the comments section.
She's sweat, wet, got it going like a turbo 'Vette
My anaconda don't want none, unless you got buns, hon
She gotta pack much back/shake that healthy butt
Cosmo ain't got nothin' to do with my selection/
36/24/36? Ha ha. Only if you's 5'3!
___________________ * Based solely on anecdotal evidence provided mainly by rap artists and the women they date and/or those who star in their rap videos. More conclusive scientific studies proving the widespread popularity of big butts is hopefully forthcoming.
Copyright school consists of watching an animated PSA (above) explaining YouTube's copyright policies, then passing a quiz to prove you were paying attention. If you don't pass, you can't upload anymore videos. Ostensibly this is to educate violators to keep them from screwing up again, but in reality it's all about humiliating adults by making them watch cartoon rabbits explain piracy. Unfortunately, there's no little certificate you can send away for and hang on the wall of your office.
Russell, the oblivious lime-green beaver pirate (look, he even has a hook for a right hand!) featured in the video, learns a very important lesson when, after posting a video online of his special needs moose friend's new movie, "Lumpy & The Lumpettes," his YouTube account is suspended, and he is threatened with the possibility of being banned for life if he commits any more violations. Oh no!
Viewers are then given a 2-minute crash course on how to avoid such a tragedy. Finally, perhaps as a menacing metaphor to illustrate just how bad life would be without YouTube -- or maybe just one mind-fuck of a plot twist not seen since The Sixth Sense -- we watch in horror as recent copyright school graduate Russell is viciously attacked by the trio of piranha he was inexplicably juggling from inside a cannon just seconds before the cannon misfired, sending him blasting through the hull of his pirate ship and into the water below where the offending fish savagely ripped the flesh from the poor little beaver's bones and ate him for dinner.
Wow! I have to say, I didn't see that one coming. Maybe M. Night Shyamalan really was involved in this after all (see also, the 10,509 "dislikes" registered thus far). Also involved, maybe LSD.
So to clarify: Don't violate copyrights by posting unauthorized videos on YouTube, or you might risk not being able to ever violate said copyrights on YouTube in the future. That, or you might die at the fins of some ill-tempered man-eating fish that you once molested, while tripping on acid. Either way, just play it safe and follow the law, dam-it. And be kind to beavers.
