Santa Ate My Pussy -- Vagina Awareness PSA!

 

Don't worry if you can't quite understand her either, the "lyrics" are helpfully included in the comments of the YouTube posting! 

This is a vagina (pussy) awareness public service announcement; this is one of the songs that I have written. I hope that you enjoy listening to it.

Merry, merry Christmas,
Merry wet vagina
Merry, merry Christmas,
Merry pussy time
Merry, merry Christmas,
Merry wet vagina
Merry, merry Christmas,
Merry pussy time
Smell of penis in the air,
smell of pussy every where
Smell of sex in the air,
We are gonna doggie and missionary

Santa give me your penis,
I'm gonna give you my pussy
Smell of sex in the air,
We gonna doggie and missionary

Santa come down the chimney,
Your mistletoe
Eat my Vagina,
Lick my vagina
Sniff my vagina,
Your Christmas lunch
Oh, oh, oh, oh

Santa come down the chimney,
Your mistletoe
Eat my Vagina,
Lick my vagina
Sniff my vagina,
your Christmas lunch
Oh, oh, oh, oh

Shakey, shakey, shakey, shakey, shakey, shakey, shake your bum bum,
Shakey, shakey, shakey, shakey, shakey, shakey, shake your bum bum

Okay! Santa, come over here,
Fuck my pussy
Fuck my pussy,
Fuck my pussy
Fuck it hard,
Fuck it hard
Fuck it hard,
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck
Santa, fuck my pussy deeper, deeper, deeper, faster, harder

I love your penis; it's big, it's long, it's hard,
Thank you, Santa
Ah, ah, all right

Santa come down the chimney,
Your mistletoe
Eat my Vagina,
Lick my vagina
Sniff my vagina,
your Christmas lunch
Oh, oh, oh, oh

Santa come down the chimney,
Your mistletoe
Eat my Vagina,
Lick my vagina
Sniff my vagina,
your Christmas lunch
Oh, oh, oh, oh

Majela... queen of sex, queen of commando, queen of pussy
Go girl, ah, ah, ah
Santa, penetrate deep, fuck me harder, fuck my pussy,
Santa, merry Christmas
Fuck me harder, harder, harder, harder, harder!
Eh! yeah

Oh, merry, merry Christmas,
Merry wet vagina
Merry, merry Christmas,
Merry pussy time
Smell of penis in the air,
Smell of pussy everywhere
Smell of sex in the air,
We gonna doggie and missionary

Santa come down the chimney,
Your mistletoe
Eat my Vagina,
Lick my vagina
Sniff my vagina,
your Christmas lunch
Oh, oh, oh, oh

Santa come down the chimney,
Your mistletoe
Eat my Vagina,
Lick my vagina
Sniff my vagina,
your Christmas lunch
Oh, oh, oh, oh

Santa, pussy eater!

Underground Beavers

The Astor Place subway station beaver mural in New York City:



According to Wikipedia, "the Astor Place station is decorated with large ceramic beaver emblems, representing the beaver pelts that helped make John Jacob Astor wealthy."

Elsewhere in Manhattan, at the Christopher Street Sheridan Square station, everyone's favorite semi-aquatic rodent is featured a little less prominently in another mural: 

As the official State Animal of New York, these are appropriate but far too rare tributes to nature's greatest engineers.

The Smoking Beaver

 'Nuff said.

Special thanks to the incomparable DJ Billy Carroll, a tireless beaver blog supporter and cherished friend, for passing along this gem.  

Smoked beaver, the other white meat.  

Camel Toe Implants

Small start-up cashes in on
Camel Toe fad

http://www.deadseriousnews.com/?p=88

Money Quotes:

"Labia implants are the new breast implants.  Collagen injections simply don’t work on the other set of lips.”, Larry Depp states gleefully.  

“You are never too old or too young to have a Camel Toe that will be the envy of every other woman on the beach.”, Depp added.

What WILL they think of next?!?!

Justin Beaver

Residents of the Bronx have apparently named their river's newly discovered second resident beaver after Justin Bieber, according to the New York Post (via Gawker).
 

"A beaver found living in the Bronx River has, after a contest, been named Justin Beaver, an homage to Canadian pop sensation Justin Bieber," according to Gawker.  "And thus marks the last time Bieber will ever be associated with anything beaver-related." 

Related post:  Jose, the Bronx River Beaver.  

Beaver Break

Beaver Blog is on hiatus for the summer.

Please stay tuned...

World's Largest Beaver Dam Discovered!

No, not Pamela Anderson!  Altheaux the record-breaking dam is cuntveniently located in her home cuntry of Canada.

Slightly shy of Ms. Anderson's rumoured last reported measurements, the dam is apparently a half-mile long, visible from space, took two decades to build and can be found in Canada's most populous and fastest growing "prairie province," Alberta. 

Check it out via Google Maps.  "Dancing With The Stars" indeed!

Vintage Beaver: The Camel Toe Song

I give you, gentle readers, the cuntroversial yet ubiquitous radio classic,  The Camel Toe Song.

Cheesy, tacky, tasteless, etc.  All the makings of a great, if dated, classic parody.  The Beach Boys are surely, albeit most likely secretly, proud of this incredibly popular send up of their hit song "Kokomo"!  Full lyrics here, just in case you wanna sing along or practice for next week's retro karaoke extravaganza. 

iPussy

For your listening / viewing (?) pleasure.

Vintage Beaver: SNL's Woomba

A classic SNL skit that clearly should have been among this blog's initial postings.

My sincerest apologies for the oversight and any further delay the annoying commercial preceding the clip may cause.  Enjoy!

Golden Shower Girls

Heaven: 6 Foot 11, Plus Camel Toe

On this ridiculously rainy night here in NYC, I give you, gentle readers, the provocative and highly entertaining video for self-described super trany (sic) Heaven feat. Markaholic's dragtastic new hit "Heaven" (a/k/a "The Camel Toe Song").



As best I can tell, the catchy refrain goes a little something like this:

It's gonna be a while before I get my pussy/
Cause my beats are so damn juicy/
Just you wait till I get my fishie/
Your tongue is gonna say it's so delicious

Werq! So it appears Heaven does indeed come in the form of "6'11 Pure Heaven" tonight. Share the love by purchasing song on iTunes here, if you dare. Video directed by Benjamin Eck & Mike Kochansky for Realgirl Records.

Olympic Beaver

A must have for every beaver enthusiast! I give you the official Always Enjoyable Giant Inflatable Beaver from the 21st Winter Olympiad in Vancouver, now for sale!



There's even a back story and a Facebook fan page.



This is particularly fitting since my beaver infatuation ackshully began in British Columbia during a Ski Bums ski trip to Whistler back in 2007.



My starter beaver, in a photo I call "Cuntemplative Beaver."

Olympic Moose Knuckles

And the Gold medal goes to...



See the full Top 10 here. Lest anyone think the Beaver Lodge is biased, rest assured we are equal-opportunity offenders in every way, shape and form! Please make a note.

Alexyss K. Tylor Vagina Power

Watch all hell break loose around the 1:30 mark. WERQ!

Coming Soon!

The iPad 2.0 with patented Vaginal Firewall Protection.



Stay tuned! And WERQ!