Golden Shower Girls

Heaven: 6 Foot 11, Plus Camel Toe

On this ridiculously rainy night here in NYC, I give you, gentle readers, the provocative and highly entertaining video for self-described super trany (sic) Heaven feat. Markaholic's dragtastic new hit "Heaven" (a/k/a "The Camel Toe Song").



As best I can tell, the catchy refrain goes a little something like this:

It's gonna be a while before I get my pussy/
Cause my beats are so damn juicy/
Just you wait till I get my fishie/
Your tongue is gonna say it's so delicious

Werq! So it appears Heaven does indeed come in the form of "6'11 Pure Heaven" tonight. Share the love by purchasing song on iTunes here, if you dare. Video directed by Benjamin Eck & Mike Kochansky for Realgirl Records.

Olympic Beaver

A must have for every beaver enthusiast! I give you the official Always Enjoyable Giant Inflatable Beaver from the 21st Winter Olympiad in Vancouver, now for sale!



There's even a back story and a Facebook fan page.



This is particularly fitting since my beaver infatuation ackshully began in British Columbia during a Ski Bums ski trip to Whistler back in 2007.



My starter beaver, in a photo I call "Cuntemplative Beaver."

Olympic Moose Knuckles

And the Gold medal goes to...



See the full Top 10 here. Lest anyone think the Beaver Lodge is biased, rest assured we are equal-opportunity offenders in every way, shape and form! Please make a note.

Alexyss K. Tylor Vagina Power

Watch all hell break loose around the 1:30 mark. WERQ!

Coming Soon!

The iPad 2.0 with patented Vaginal Firewall Protection.



Stay tuned! And WERQ!

Nice Beaver!

A classic if ever there was one!

Beaver: The Other White Meat?

With Thanksgiving fast approaching, maybe it's time to try something new this year by forgetting the traditional turkey and thinking outside (or inside?) the box for a change.



Apparently there are many exciting and tasty ways to trap and prepare your very own holiday semi-aquatic rodent, including Fried Beaver, Deep Fried Beaver, Beaver Stew and Country Style Beaver, as presented by CajunCookingRecipes.com.

[Ed. Note: Urban Style Beaver usually requires a nice dinner, lots of drinks and, in extreme (but legally discouraged) cases, a Roofie, before submitting itself for your dining pleasure. Results may vary.]

Sure, this is great news for turkeys, but nature's littlest architects are no doubt less than thrilled by the prospect of this hillbilly fad ever catching on.

Disclaimer: Vagenda's Beaver Lodge neither endorses nor condemns the act of feasting on beaver, regardless of the form said beaver may take (See previous post.)

Fresh Queefs

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Beavers: Assholes of the Forest

Here's a little bit of hump day etymological history for ya.



Who knew?

Beaver Carpets

The punchline writes itself.

Dam Beavers Game

I posted this cute word game a while back on the blog, but after playing a few rounds this evening, thought it was worth sharing again.

You can download it here.

Enjoy!

Beaver In Da News

Sure, these stories are at best 5 or 6 months late, but for proper beaver blog archival integrity purposes, I feel they should be posted nonetheless. (Sorry for the delay, it's been a crazy summer!)

Can't beat a headline like this: Vaginas Are Having the Worst Week Ever!

The fun starts with Britney and cuntinues nonstop from there.

In a related story, vagina art is apparently sweeping the nation (or at least the internet, anyway). Here's a taste:



It's times like these that I wonder how someone like myself can one be so damn infatuated with something I find so utterly repulsive.

Boon Dickles Beaver House

Yeah, even I'm a bit perplexed by the name of this party. Not that I don't love it, of course! Maybe it will all make sense once I actually drag myself out to Beauty Bar some Thursday night to check it out. Or maybe it has something to do with the always fabulously unusual Amanda Lepore hosting it?

Well, as anyone who currently lives in NYC or has visited recently knows, the nightlife pickins here ain't much to speak of anymore. So God bless Amanda and her posse for continuing to throw/host/attend parties like this to help keep the spirit alive.

Here are the particulars, via Facebook:

Hosts: amanda lepore, cazwell, tommy hotpants, dutch
Type: Party - Bar Night
Network: Global
Price: Free
Start Time: Thursdays @ 10pm
End Time: Fridays @ 4am
Location: Beauty Bar (14th Street btwn 2nd & 3rd Aves in NYC)

Description

How many bong hits did it take to come up with this party’s twisted name? Sexy DJs Tommy Hottpants and Zach, with Cazwell and Amanda Lepore and mile-high drag hostess Duch (the Duchess of Razzle Dazzle) transform the back lounge into a queer-friendly rock & roll dance party that attracts an intriguingly random mix of nightlifers, from freaks to jocks.

Breast wishes for a tremendous, labor-free holiday weekend!

Werq Dis [Beaver]

Sweet Pussy Pauline vs 2 Live Crew, Junior Vasquez style!



WERQ!