Camel Toe Implants

Small start-up cashes in on
Camel Toe fad

http://www.deadseriousnews.com/?p=88

Money Quotes:

"Labia implants are the new breast implants.  Collagen injections simply don’t work on the other set of lips.”, Larry Depp states gleefully.  

“You are never too old or too young to have a Camel Toe that will be the envy of every other woman on the beach.”, Depp added.

What WILL they think of next?!?!

Vintage Beaver: The Camel Toe Song

I give you, gentle readers, the cuntroversial yet ubiquitous radio classic,  The Camel Toe Song.

Cheesy, tacky, tasteless, etc.  All the makings of a great, if dated, classic parody.  The Beach Boys are surely, albeit most likely secretly, proud of this incredibly popular send up of their hit song "Kokomo"!  Full lyrics here, just in case you wanna sing along or practice for next week's retro karaoke extravaganza. 

Heaven: 6 Foot 11, Plus Camel Toe

On this ridiculously rainy night here in NYC, I give you, gentle readers, the provocative and highly entertaining video for self-described super trany (sic) Heaven feat. Markaholic's dragtastic new hit "Heaven" (a/k/a "The Camel Toe Song").



As best I can tell, the catchy refrain goes a little something like this:

It's gonna be a while before I get my pussy/
Cause my beats are so damn juicy/
Just you wait till I get my fishie/
Your tongue is gonna say it's so delicious

Werq! So it appears Heaven does indeed come in the form of "6'11 Pure Heaven" tonight. Share the love by purchasing song on iTunes here, if you dare. Video directed by Benjamin Eck & Mike Kochansky for Realgirl Records.

The Cuchini Pad

I suppose it's understandable that there are certain situations when a slightly more modest woman might want to dress provocatively, yet not necessarily reveal every nuance of her unpredictably errant outer lady parts. So if subtly is your aim (as opposed to the eye-catching vaginal amplification offered by the ever-popular Camel Toe Cup), and errant lips are your objective to tame, then The Cuchini Pad may be right up your alley (no pun) to assist in concealing any unintentional protruding shame.


You can even send one anonymously to an oblivious and/or offending friend, co-worker, family member or even a random acquaintance (intimate or otherwise).

Perhaps an homage to the 80s bad-girl group The Go-Go's and their quintessential rebellious rock anthem, The Cuchini Pad has adopted the slogan "Our Lips Are Sealed" and this androgynous, mildly disturbing yet provocative cartoon camel mascot to help hock its expanding line of traditional unmentionables and more functional subterranean line of exotic undergarments.

Rest assured, your secret "cheat-sheet" purchases will always be held in the strictest of confidence as outlined in Cuchini's solemn pledge posted on its website assuring absolute privacy and utmost discretion on behalf of each and every client.

Celebrity Toe

Gossip site Scandalist celebrates the holidays with their very own novel year-end list: Top 25 Most Shocking Celebrity Camel Toe Moments Ever


(Madonna clocks in at #21.)

Sure, most of them aren't really that shocking (or even regulation toes, in a few instances). But Scandalist does deserve much thanks for bravely sharing a classic shot of Paris Hilton (#18) sporting her untamed toe in its natural red-carpeted Hollywood habitat. Any daring celebrities hoping to make next year's list might consider investing in one of these beauties, and take 2009 by storm!

Update: Now THIS is regulation celebrity toe! Werq!

For The Lady Who Has Everything

The above item speaks for itself. But for those looking to minimize rather than maximize, consider the Camel Toe Protector (coming soon!).

Having trouble finding the right gift for Mother's Day? Girlfriend been sporting a bit too much toe lately? Secretary offending clients or co-workers with gratuitous crotch cleavage? Then the Camel Toe Protector (patent pending) may be your salvation. The perfect gift for any occasion -- Senior Prom, Arbor Day, Kwanza, Hillary Clinton's Inauguration -- what woman wouldn't appreciate the protection this thoughtful prosthetic device provides? How do you think Madonna achieved such a flawless and confident toe-free look while working those notoriously revealing leotards in her "Hung Up" and "Sorry" videos? Sure, flaunting those lower lips can give a gal the edge in certain situations, and Vagenda's Beaver Lodge applauds a woman's right to choose. But for more discreet dames who'd rather keep the beef curtains under wraps and hidden from probing paparazzi or any other unintended audiences, the Camel Toe Protector is one accoutrement you won't want to leave home without.

Camel Toe